Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
honey bunches of taint.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
