Clothes are such an inconvenience.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
