9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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