She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
