Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
