32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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