it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
