Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
