My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sorry my hands just texted you
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
