No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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