fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I had to cum in my sink.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
