Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
