I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
