Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
