so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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