just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
