clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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