Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
