Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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