Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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