i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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