I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
