how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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