No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
