Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
