I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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