"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
