like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
