Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
