community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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