You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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