my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize