Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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