His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
