i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
