I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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