you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's just like the Real World with babies
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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