if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
