We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
