please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
