She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
