Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize