dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
