I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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