you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we're making bets on your personal life
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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