tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize