Non-Jews are for practice
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
