remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
