if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
