no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
