I love black thongs
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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