When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
