Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
As shirtless as possible
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize