I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
