WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize