are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
