He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
