Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize