She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
