Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Your cock deserves a montage
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize