Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize