I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
