You can't motorboat a personality
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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